Walls

Wall #1 down... three more to go.

This, among various other things, is what I do instead of work. What are you up to eh?

The one where I ignore my own blog and guest post instead

Hi kids! Anybody still hanging around here? It's been, wow, almost 3 months since I last updated this place. It's a pity really and the fault is all mine. Lately I have taken to living life like a rockstar and it has generally suited me pretty well. But I haven't given up on blogging altogether, and rekindling this joint is somewhere down on my list of things-to-do.

For now, I am instead offering up a juicy story in the form of a guest post for my dear friend the Nimpip. The words "morally lax females" and "playful mammals" feature in said story and I wouldn't miss it if I were you.

Peace.

Ahh by "wasted" you mean..um, huh?

On a scale from 1 to 10 my dating skills rate in at zero minus 5. By strange twists of fate almost all my earlier relationships have somehow, just happened, with minimal ritual courtship or the usual shenanigans that I am told are part and parcel of dating. I don't really regret my lack of knowledge in this regard, after all it is not like being an ace date, or not, should really count when you meet someone you connect with. I am well aware that this might just be a delusion I have convinced myself of, for lack of any motivation to learn at my age. (haha.. @ at my age.. I love saying that)

So anyway, a couple of days ago a mutual friend proposed to set me up on a blind date with her friend who allegedly took a liking to a picture of mine. I agreed because apart from being a desperate cheapskate who would go out with anything that walks, I was also very curious to see who could possibly like my mug! To be honest, my complete lack of dating knowledge (henceforth referred to as datowledge) resulted in a complete lack of apprehension at what I had gotten myself into.. and my dear readers, Ignorance really is bliss.

Being naive, over excited and generally a chipmunk on acid, I offered to meet this young lady over lunch. Lunch people! .. for a blind date! and I made no arrangements for something I now know to be called an "emergency exit call". ( All this datowledge that I am spewing forth now, comes after the date-organizer-friend sat me down and lectured me for an hour. She also gave me a wikipedia link. yaay me.)

There was fish for lunch. Keep note of this, it is important. The initial introductions were warm enough and at that moment I may or may not have contemplated writing a blog post about how overrated dating skills were.. ahem. As the minutes wore on things started going amiss. Unlike the beer that we were served, the temperature on our table definitely sank a couple of degrees. I cannot really put my finger on why it all turned cold. Maybe she thought we didn't click and got sulky instead of just making the best of it. But whatever her reasons, I deployed my one and only weapon against unpleasant situations, which is to become an overly talkative constantly grinning pain in the neck. In short, date was a disaster.

By the time the main course arrived we were both pretty sure that there would be no repeat of this charade. I thought that instead of ignoring the elephant in the room it would be better to simply say it like it is. And I did. Surprisingly, Miss Sulky relaxed the minute I explained my feelings about this date, and things were looking good.. well for the rest of the afternoon at least. Even more surprisingly, Miss Sulky turned into Miss Talkative and suddenly seemed most interested in me. As friends I presume. Not missing a beat, I plunged headlong into a long conversation about me, my work, my life, family etc. As I tried to avoid choking on the fish bones while Miss Sulky-now-Talkative interrogated me, I did also manage to squeeze in few questions about her in the conversation. Only to have them brushed aside with even more questions about me. At this point of time I was pretty confused as to whether we were back in dating mode or not.

Eventually my new best friend who by now knew me inside out, fell silent. As she pondered over the information about my life she had just extricated, I launched into the fish.. because well, I was just hungry (and I had given up on getting any info from her about herself). A good 5 minutes and lots of yummy fish later, my new intimate bosom buddy, looks me in the eye and goes: " ... so manu.. don't take this the wrong way (in my experience, sentences that start this way never end well) ..but.. so you are kind of wasting your life right now, aren't you? .." I look up from my fish, and blink. Just to make sure I wasn't dreaming I blink a couple of times more. I try to say something but I think it sounded like.. " grruugghhggrruuhhgggg". A couple of blinks more and I realize what has just been said about me. Enraged at my intimate bosom buddy's suggestion, I open my mouth again and say "grrruugggggggssgggghhgggaaaaaa". But this time it was purely because I was choking on the fish.

Needless to say, the rest of the lunch was short and memorable. Not necessarily a nice memory, but one I will probably not forget. I will save you the details, but I may or may not have gagged, choked and coughed out fish bones onto my date's plate. She may or may not have gotten all huffed up that I was so offended because SHE WAS BEING NICE BY TELLING ME I AM WASTING MY LIFE. ALL SHE MEANT WAS THAT I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN ROBOTS .. and that I was being immature, stuck up, narrow minded , eggheaded and old fashioned. I pointed out that being immaturely old fashioned is a bit of an oxymoron.. and she might have wanted to smack me at that moment.

I think I am done with blind dates for now.